During my first year in law school, my Civ Pro prof said, "In hospitals, doctors work together and use their best skills to help each other and help patients. But in court rooms, lawyers tear each other apart and use their best skills to knock each other off of their bikes."
Unfortunately, I found this somewhat true today. I was on the phone with another attorney to negotiate and come to an agreement for a trademark usage. A little background: I sent her client a cease and desist letter a few weeks ago and she responded to my cease and desist letter with her cease and desist letter. I responded to her cease and desist letter with a coexistence agreement. Anyways, I called her because I knew she received my response on Monday, but she hadn't called me back.
I called her and told her that I wanted to introduce myself and I wanted to confirm that she received my proposed coexistence agreement. To this, she started spit firing about how much her client spent on this trademark, how they've been using it longer than my client has, etc. And she started saying stuff like, "in my 20 years of experience this," "in my 20 years of experience that," blah blah blah. Then she said that my offer was insulting.
Wow. Can we calm down for 2 minutes? I understand attorneys need to represent their clients zealously, but good lord, how can some attorneys be so down right rude? Well guess what? I don't have 20 years of experience but I do know that being hostile won't help you or your client.
But of course, I kept my cool, and said, "Alright, if you don't like my offer, can you counter?" She said that she shouldn't have to counter. What does that mean? And What kind of a response is that? Am I supposed to sit around all day and play a guessing game? So I told her, "Alright, well let your client know that is our offer and see what he says. If he comes back with a number then I'll entertain it."
This was probably one of the most hostile attorneys I've dealt with, and while I'm glad I didn't lose it over the phone, I am a little mad that I didn't say something silly in response to her "20 years of experience." I should have told her it was my first day at my job or asked for her resume. Feel free to post other funny responses you think of.